I am Worthy

Staring at a blank page, not knowing what to write about. The mind full of thoughts, none containing depth or wisdom that I want to share.

They are, what I refer to as, circling thoughts. Emotionally charged experiences from yesterday, last week, last year. Thoughts that are floating in and out of awareness, pictures of faces that crossed my path. Feelings that streamed through my heart. Gratitude, frustration, anxiety, joy, happiness, love-all these encompassed in thoughts circling in my mind.

All through my life, whatever I had, there always seemed to be something missing.  I never fully appreciated what I already had-it was never enough. My job, marriage, friends, family, money, possessions, within all of these things whatever was already there, was never enough. I would think that by searching and seeking into the next thing, the next friend, the next job, the next experience, that my happiness would finally come.

I walked away from this writing before writing that. I cried. It was not out of tears of sadness, but of gratitude. I had the full realization that all that I ever wanted, or needed, I  have it, right now, today.

I am surrounded by people who love me, I have a great job, I have awesome friends, I live in a city I love, my family is freakin amazing and my life is just how I had always wanted it to be.

For the first time, I think ever, I felt deserving of all of these things that my heart had yearned for. That’s the real reason why I cried.  I realized I am worthy. I am worth my weight in gold -finally, I believe it.

How did I get here? How do others, find this place?  What are the secrets to unlock the doors to this part of a journey?  Questions to ponder, maybe with wise friends.

Makin’ It

One of my intentions for 2017 is to be better with my finances.  I spend more than I make, I spend money before I have it and have been drawing off my IRA to live.

Although this bothers me, it seems like a revolving pattern. Its feast or famine.

I decided 2017 is going to be different.

With this intention in place, I have been tight on money for the first part of the year. I lost a renter (a source of income for me), I went out to California, resulting in short hours at my job and had to put unexpected expenses into my car.

There were times that I was ready to cave–run back to my parents, live in my rental (its cheaper for me up north), or say fuck it, I am cashing in my whole retirement.  I wanted the security and knowing that money was supporting me.

But, I kept reminding myself.  Today, I am ok.  Today, all my bills are paid.  Today, I have money for groceries.  Today the Universe is supporting me.

I have been making it day by day and this is helping me make it month by month.

Now, I am getting more hours at work, I have a second job serving, my apartment has a new tenant and I am selling some Arbonne too.

Did the Universe test me? Probably, it likes to see if you are serious.  See, you won’t get financial abundance that sticks until you prove that you can manage your money.  I can Universe!! (I have to get some Tony Robbins books!  lol)

I had a heart full of gratitude this morning. I made it through a difficult time.  Although there was some support from my family, the biggest thing that sustained me was the Faith in knowing that there is a force greater than myself that is always looking out for me.

I made it-thank you Universe!!!

Thank & Grow Rich Update

thank-and-grow-rich

Hey Ya’ll! I am in Asheville NC, away from my family back home in Wisconsin.  I had to do something that kept me grounded going this chapter of my life so that I could fully enjoy and appreciate this incredible part of my journey. I had to do something that would keep me in high vibration energies so that I can draw my dreams and desires into reality. Books always help me so I delved into Pam Grouts “Thank and Grow Rich”  Continue reading

Morning Rituals-Creating a Day of Amazingness

morning-ritual

From the Diary of the Spiritual Warrior

I have been doing this morning ritual just about every day since August. It has evolved into the greatest joy of my day because it lets be create a day by my own design. My favorite part is writing because here is where the magic gets created. I focus on the abundance in my life, create wish lists of what would make the day kick ass awesome and put down goals which give me a road map for the day.   Continue reading