Turning 50 Reflections

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 50. It is a milestone for me for some reason. Although I am neither  sad nor upset in turning 50, there is a particular nervous energy that is around it.

I feel that the last 50 years of my life has been spent collecting the wisdom needed to live the next part of my life.  The next 50, the last part of my life and, in my gut, I feel, it will be the best part.

So what up? Whats up with all of these emotions?  I must be releasing some shit because I have been crying a lot-letting go, loosening my grip on controlling outcomes.

Beneath these emotions, I can hear my inner voice whispering

-take big leaps, live boldy, get out, find new things.

Are these things scaring me?  Somewhat. Things like this use to energize me but I know these are big steps and big steps take lots of courage.

The Universe knows when you are ready. How? Well, you tell it what you want and then you open your arms to receive it.

I am ready for big leaps and bold living. What does that look like? Well, not sure but bring it and lets see what comes about!!  OMG! Too exciting!

Bring it 50!!

Eating Emotions

My stomach has been acting up again.  Every time I eat, my stomach gets bloated. It is so uncomfortable, I can barely stand it.

I don’t think the foods I am eating are all that bad, its that I am shoveling them in so fast that I don’t know when I am full so I just keep eating and eating and eating.  Then, yes its obvious, bloated stomach.

I am an emotional eater. I didn’t realize how much I was until I did the Arbonne “30 Days to Healthy Living” program.  Here, I ate only 3 times a day and it was at, approximately, the same times every day.  Here, I noticed that at certain times and because of certain triggers, I would want to start shoving food in my mouth.  It was a real eye opener.

I eat for comfort. I want the food to fill me up and make me feel whole.

I eat to bury my emotions.  When I feel bad about decisions, or I am trying to avoid decisions, I eat. I want the food to take away the thoughts,the never ending circling of stories that my mind creates.

You wouldn’t think I had these issues with food-I am not heavy, my diet is 100% better than it was in my past.

I didn’t even know I had these issues with food.  I think a lot of people have issues with food.

I looked up leaky gut yesterday and, after reading why it happens, along with the symptoms, the reason for my bloating is leaky gut.

I know how to deal with leaky gut and my bloating.  What I don’t know is how to deal with my emotional eating.  This has me stumped. I usually don’t write about something until after I have come up with an empowered way of dealing with it.

Here, I decided to open and vulnerable. I need help with my emotional eating.

Time to nutritionally rebalance my body with an Arbonne cleanse but, most importantly, find a way to deal with the emotions in a more positive way.